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There’s a simple practice that has helped me maintain my boundaries more than almost anything else I’ve done.

It’s not complicated, doesn’t take long, and you can start doing it tonight. If you’re in 12-step recovery, you’re probably familiar with it: it’s called a nightly inventory.

I’ve been doing some version of this practice for years now. But over time, my understanding of why it works has evolved. Today, I see it as one of the most powerful internal boundary practices there is.

How This Practice Started

Every night, I write at least ten things I’m grateful for. In the past few months, I’ve started writing a few things in the morning to start my day, then I add to that list at night. I started this practice in July of 2000, originally writing five things each night. That small habit completely transformed my life.

Years later, when I came into recovery and learned about the idea of a nightly inventory, it fit perfectly with what I was already doing. I simply added it to my evening routine. Truth be told, I don’t do this every night now, but anywhere from 5-7 nights per week.

I remember reading something in my twenties that made this whole idea seem ridiculous. In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie talked about doing a weekly inventory of his behavior. On Saturday nights, he’d reflect on the week and ask himself how he could have done things better.

I thought, “Are you fucking kidding me??! Who would do that?” Fast forward 30+, and here I am doing something even more consistent.

The Basement Metaphor

Here’s the image that helps me understand what a nightly inventory really does. When I first worked the 12 steps, it was like I went down into the deep, dark, dank basement of my life. There was junk and debris everywhere: old resentments, defects of character, unexamined patterns, emotional wreckage.

Doing the 12 steps was like cleaning the entire basement out. First, I cleared out the junk, then I sandblasted the walls, then I painted, carpeted, and furnished the place. Then I redecorated.

By the time I was done, the basement had become a beautiful space where I could relax. A place I wanted to invite people into and that I could actually enjoy. My nightly inventory is like sweeping the floor every night, so the junk never piles up again.

Where Internal Boundaries Come In

Read more at your own pace here

Featuring work by Catherine Lavoie

In THREADS: STORIES IN FIBER, artist Catherine Lavoie explores topics related to recovery from trauma, family roots, natures beauty, Buddhist wisdom, and a bit of whimsy. The exhibit will be on view from April 3 - April 26, with an Opening Reception and Artist Talk on Saturday, April 11 at 3 p.m. Mirroring the theme of stories, Jen Payne will present a Poetry Reading from her memoir Sleeping with Ghosts on Sunday, April 19 at 1 p.m.

The exhibit THREADS: STORIES IN FIBER includes work in assemblage, installation art, mixed media, photography, soft sculpture, and modern wall quilts. The art incorporates repurposed materials ranging from discarded wedding dresses and vintage doilies to high-tech power cords and plastic shopping bags. “The surprise of recognizing these everyday items in an artistic context is a key component of my work,” Lavoie explains.

“The pieces are designed to tell stories in new and reassembled ways, and to spark curiosity and initiate different ways of thinking.” One of the most meaningful stories in the show is about Helen Rita Pasternak Lavoie, Lavoie‘s mother, who would’ve been 100 years old in April 2026 and to whom this show is dedicated.”

Lavoie, a fiber artist based in Connecticut, merges traditional quilting techniques with innovative, contemporary materials to produce thought provoking artwork. Her art background includes photography, traditional quilting and mixed media. Her career as a psychotherapist informs her interest in human stories, Natures gifts, and Buddhist thought. She is a member of City Gallery, and the Kent Art Association in Kent, Connecticut.

Writer Jen Payne is inspired by the stories that move us most — love and loss, joy and disappointment, milestones and turning points. When she is not exploring our connections with one another, she enjoys contemplating our relationships with nature, creativity, and spirituality. Ultimately, she believes it is the alchemy of those things that helps us find balance in this frenetic, spinning world. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including the 2024 Connecticut Literary Anthology, Sunspot Literary Journal, Anti-Heroin Chic, and The Perch (Yale). She has published five books, the most recent of which is Sleeping with Ghosts offering an intimate exploration of love, memory, and meaning.

The exhibit THREADS: STORIES IN FIBER, the opening reception and the poetry reading are free and open to the public. City Gallery is located at 994 State Street, New Haven, CT 06511. Gallery hours are Friday - Sunday, 12 p.m. - 4 p.m., or by appointment. For further information please contact City Gallery, info@city-gallery.org, www.city-gallery.org.

Integrity Is an Internal Boundary

Years ago, when I first got into recovery, I became fascinated with the word integrity. So I looked it up. I was surprised to see that the dictionary had two different definitions.

The first is the one most people think of. Integrity means being honest, having strong moral principles, and doing what you say you’re going to do. The second definition is the state of being whole and undivided. Engineers talk about the structural integrity of a bridge. If there are cracks in the structure, the bridge can collapse.

That second definition felt somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finer on it. I eventually realized it was familiar because my internal experience before recovery felt exactly like that: fragmented, not whole. And thus it became the name of my podcast.

Read the rest at your own pace here

DIXWELL FARMERS MARKET SALES ASSOCIATE

Seasonal Part-Time position, 5 hours weekly on Saturdays, May through November 2026

The Farmers Market Sales Associate supports a vibrant marketplace and community gathering place through building positive relationships with vendors, customers, and community partners. Skilled in customer service and team-minded,the t Sales Associate contributes creativity, organization, and collaboration to the team, and brings a lens of racial equity and economic opportunity to the work.  This position reports to the Dixwell Market Manager.

RESPONSIBILITIES

The Dixwell Farmers Market Sales Associate works with the Director of Agriculture and Farmers Market Manager to assist the farmers market program, including: program management and implementation, vendor engagement and communications, nutrition incentive program implementation, partnerships, and customer engagement. 

• Implement on-site Farmers Market programming, including: market set-up/tear-town processes, market layouts and stall assignments, equipment transportation and maintenance, management of market hours of operation, and other market logistics 
• Execute produce, meat, and dairy sales utilizing sales software and produce scale 
• Provide excellent customer service to farmers market attendees and customers, ensuring they have a positive and inclusive experience 
• Ensure compliance with city, state, and CitySeed regulations, policies, and guidelines
• Process nutrition program transactions at the market, including Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) and CT Farmers Market Nutrition Program (FMNP)
• Support reporting on market conditions, gross vendor sales, market income, and feedback from customer and vendor surveys
• Monitor for potential improvements in daily logistics, outreach efforts, and product selection, and suggest ongoing improvements
• Enforce CitySeed vendor policies by engaging in proactive conflict management, and elevate issues with vendors to CitySeed leadership when necessary
• Monitor and maintain the cleanliness and organization of all Farmers Market equipment and physical infrastructure, including vehicles, payment terminals, and tents  
• Communicate when materials updates or replacements are needed
  
  

REQUIRED QUALIFICATIONS

• Ability to lift objects weighing up to 50lbs and work in inclement weather conditions
• Communication, conflict resolution, and creative problem solving skills
• Enthusiasm for connecting communities through food
  
  

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS

• Experience overseeing events and managing volunteers
• Experience and/or desire to work with farmers 
• Working knowledge of Spanish or Arabic
  
  

DETAILS

• Desired Start Date: May 11, 2026
• Location: New Haven, CT 
• Hourly position: $20/hour 

TO APPLY
Please email your resume and cover letter to kaitlyn@cityseed.org with the subject line “Dixwell Sales Associate.” Applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis. CitySeed is committed to creating a diverse, equitable, welcoming and inclusive environment for all employees and our community.  We honor candidates' varied experiences, perspectives and identities. 

For more about CitySeed and our mission, visit our website: www.cityseed.org

Next Wednesday, March 11th, the Public Health Committee of the Connecticut General Assembly will hold a public hearing about two key pieces of legislation designed to protect access to life-saving vaccines, and each of us has the opportunity to contribute to their passing by submitting testimony in support of science-based vaccine policy. Testimony can be submitted in person (Room 1D of the Legislative Office Building), via Zoom, or in writing (using a form).
The bills: HB 5044 (An Act Establishing CT Vaccine Standards) and Raised Bill 450 (An Act Concerning The Standard of Care for Immunization) have been developed by the CT Department of Public Health and endorsed by the Governor. The bills, which are very similar, make clear that under U.S. constitutional authority, States retain power to protect public health, and that the CT Commissioner of Public Health will establish vaccine policy in CT. This is critically important because the federal Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), appointed by RFK, Jr, consists of vaccine skeptics and anti-vaxers who have been making vaccine recommendations to the CDC that will harm public health if followed..
The ask: The Public Health Committee will hear public oral testimony about these bills on Wednesday, March 11, 10:30 a.m to midnight. There has been vocal opposition to these bills, and we expect opponents to testify in force. Please defend public health by providing testimony in support of science-based vaccine policy in person (Room 1D of the Legislative Office Building), via Zoom or in writing (using a form). Registration for oral testimony will close on Tuesday, March 10, 2026 at 3:00 P.M. The Committee encourages witnesses to submit a written statement and to condense oral testimony to a summary of that statement. See the announcement about the hearing at the end of this email.
When you sign up to testify (whether written or oral), the form asks for your name, title, and affiliation. Don’t be shy about including all of your credentials (e.g., if you have an MD, PhD, DrPH, or MPH degree, be sure to include it), as doing so will enhance the credibility of your testimony.
The texts of the bills, with deletions from prior language in red and additions in blue, are attached to this email.
Please forward this email to colleagues and organizations interested in supporting science-based vaccine policy in Connecticut.
The following are some excellent resources about vaccines: American Academy of Pediatrics, Association of Immunization Managers, and American Public Health Association.
The following provides general guidance about testifying at a public hearing:
https://cthealthpolicy.org/resources-2/advocacy-tool-box/testify-hearing/ and
https://www.cga.ct.gov/asp/content/yourvoice.asp
The following are key talking points in support of the legislation:
Given that anti-vaxxers are making CDC vaccine recommendations, the CT Commissioner of Public Health must have the authority to provide evidence-based guidelines on State vaccine policy.
The bills seeks to preclude challenges to some mandatory immunization requirements (for daycare, schools, colleges). The challenges are being made on the basis that they violate CT’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Opponents of this legislation want to reinstate religious exemptions, so it is important to note that high vaccination rates are needed to protect those who cannot be vaccinated, including infants and immunocompromised individuals, such as people with cancer, HIV, etc.
Vaccination is not just a personal choice—it is a community responsibility..
Schools and daycare centers should be safe spaces, not sites of preventable disease outbreaks.
Religious freedom does not include the right to expose others to harm.
States that eliminated non-medical (including religious) exemptions saw increased vaccination rates and decreased disease incidence
We may send more supporting information over the weekend or early next week.
P.S. If you are not already on the Defend Public Health-CT mailing list, please sign up here. If you are on the mailing list with your work email, we strongly recommend that you change your contact info to your personal email address. Please sign up with your personal email address here.

PUBLIC HEALTH COMMITTEE
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11, 2026
The Public Health Committee will hold a public hearing on Wednesday, March 11, 2026 at 10:30 A.M. in Room 1D of the LOB and via Zoom. The public hearing can be viewed via YouTube Live. In addition, the public hearing may be recorded and broadcast live on CT-N.com. Individuals who wish to testify must register using the On-line Testimony Registration Form. The registration form must contain the name of the person who will be testifying. A unique email address must be provided for each person registered to speak. Registration will close on Tuesday, March 10, 2026 at 3:00 P.M. Speaker order of approved registrants will be listed in a randomized order and posted on the Public Health Committee website on Tuesday, March 10, 2026 at 6:00 P.M. under Public Hearing Testimony. If you do not have internet access, you may provide testimony via telephone. To register to testify by phone, call the Phone Registrant Line at 860-240-0560 to leave your contact information. Please submit written testimony using the On-line Testimony Submission Form. The Committee requests that testimony be limited to matters related to the items on the Agenda. The first hour of the hearing is reserved for Legislators, Constitutional Officers, State Agency Heads and Chief Elected Municipal Officials. Speakers will be limited to three minutes of testimony. Oral testimony will conclude at 12:00 AM on 3/12/2026. The Committee encourages witnesses to submit a written statement and to condense oral testimony to a summary of that statement. All public hearing testimony, written and spoken, is public information. As such, it will be made available on the CGA website and indexed by internet search engines.
SUBJECT MATTER: Public Health Related Bills
*S.B. No. 450 (RAISED) AN ACT CONCERNING THE STANDARD OF CARE FOR IMMUNIZATION.
*H.B. No. 5044 (COMM) AN ACT ESTABLISHING CONNECTICUT VACCINE STANDARDS.

Discipline Equals Freedom, But Not the Way I Used to Think

Years ago, I recorded a podcast episode called Discipline Equals Freedom. And I meant it.

Back then, I was talking about structure. Food plans. Dating plans. Financial reserves. Time management. Putting systems in place so you didn’t have to make the same decisions over and over again. I still stand behind that.

Structure does create freedom. Planning ahead does reduce chaos. Clear rules of engagement do reduce anxiety.

That episode was true for where I was at the time. But my understanding of discipline has evolved. Today, when I say discipline equals freedom, I’m not talking primarily about external structure. I’m talking about internal boundaries. I’m talking about the discipline of not abandoning yourself in the presence of emotion. And that kind of discipline creates a deeper kind of freedom.

At first, I thought discipline meant grit, hustle, white knuckling your way through discomfort. Doing things you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do them. And while there’s some truth in that, that’s not what discipline means to me anymore.

Now, I see discipline through the lens of internal boundaries.  And from that perspective, discipline doesn’t feel harsh. It feels like safety, like staying with yourself until things make sense from the inside. It feels like not abandoning yourself in the presence of emotion. That’s the discipline that creates freedom.

The Discipline of Not Leaving Yourself

When most people hear the word discipline, they might think like I did about external things like food plans, workout routines, budgets, time management systems. Those are external structures. Internal discipline is different.

Internal discipline is what happens in the invisible moments. It’s the moment when someone is upset with you and your nervous system wants to rush in and “fix it.” It’s the moment when your mind starts living into the wreckage of the future. It’s the moment when guilt floods your body after you say no.

Internal discipline sounds like this:

Pause.
Stay.
Breathe.
Do not collapse.
Do not rescue.
Do not spin.
Do not self-abandon.

Those are internal boundaries. And they require discipline.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

Discover how photographer William Frucht captures a world that is simultaneously a “slow evolution” and “an infinite mad dance,” in his exhibit Shooting Fast & Slow. The show will be on view from March 6 to March 29, with Opening Reception on Saturday, March 7, 2–4 p.m. The event and exhibit are free and open to the public.

Frucht’s photography follows two distinct paths. One path — the slow path — is photographing abandoned or distressed places with a big medium-format film camera and a tripod. “The images that emerge are meditations on the slow evolution of the world,” he explains. “I am in a dialogue with the past, photographing events that unfold not over seconds and minutes but over years and decades.”

The second path — the fast path — is street photography using a small digital camera. “I immerse myself in the moment,” he says, “trying not to think but simply flow, reacting to fleeting gestures, expressions, and chance arrangements of light and shadow that flicker into existence like virtual particles and then as quickly vanish. Yet even when the world is an infinite mad dance I try to work slowly, as if slowing time itself, to wait for the moment when forms, colors, expressions fall into place.”

“Recently,” he reports, “a third path has emerged, in which I try to capture fast moments with slow processes, like an excursion into an imaginary universe that crosses reality at an angle.” Curious? Come to the City Gallery exhibit in March to how these creative paths diverge and converge.

The following bio appears on his web site.  City Gallery does not guarantee its accuracy: 

William Frucht is only the second person in U.S. history to win the Pulitzer Prize for Nonfiction, the Nobel Peace Prize, and the National League Most Valuable Player Award all in the same year. Just a few years older than the city of Danbury, Connecticut, where he currently resides, he still works as an acquiring editor at Yale University Press, although his colleagues increasingly think of him as semiretired at best. In his spare time he devotes himself to remaining inconspicuous, failing upward, and using his powers for good and not evil. He is also a photographer whose work has been exhibited in multiple states as well as in private collections here and abroad. He has been a member of City Gallery since 2015.

Shooting Fast & Slow is free and open to the public. City Gallery is located at 994 State Street, New Haven, CT 06511. Gallery hours are Friday - Sunday, 12 p.m. - 4 p.m., or by appointment. For further information please contact City Gallery, info@city-gallery.org, www.city-gallery.org.

Emotions, Emotional Boundaries, and the Stories Your Mind Tells

I want to start by sharing something that happened a while ago. It showed me that the tendency toward rescuing and fixing doesn’t necessarily disappear just because we’ve done a lot of work.

But what does change is this:

We’re no longer compelled to act on it.

Here’s what happened. I live in a condo complex. My doors were open, and I heard a child outside on the phone. It sounded like he was telling someone his mom wasn’t home and he was going to be late.

And my first thought was: “I could drive him.”

Now. I have no idea who this child is. I’ve never heard this voice before. I don’t know the situation. And I needed to leave for a meeting in ten minutes.

But my nervous system moved toward rescuing immediately. That’s my first thought. And here’s a saying I learned early in recovery that came in really handy in that moment:

“I’m not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for my second thought and for what I do next.”

What changed in recovery wasn’t that the rescuing impulse disappeared entirely. What changed is that I can notice it without acting on it. And I can notice it without attacking myself for having it.

That right there is emotional boundary work. Because emotional boundaries aren’t just about other people’s feelings. They’re about how you relate to your own emotions.

Here’s what’s important about that story. My first thought was to move toward someone else’s discomfort. That’s what I used to do with emotion too. If I felt anxious, I didn’t stay with the anxiety. I moved away from it. Sometimes by rescuing. Sometimes by replaying the past. Sometimes by inventing worst case scenarios.

And this is the part that took me years to understand: All of those behaviors are attempts to manage discomfort.

When I heard that child, my system was trying to reduce anxiety by taking control. That’s what rescuing is. It’s control disguised as helpfulness.

And when I don’t act that impulse out externally, that same anxiety energy can turn inward. It can become rumination. It can become catastrophizing. Rescuing, ruminating, and catastrophizing are all attempts to manage emotion when we don’t feel steady inside.

They’re different behaviors. Same root.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

One of the most difficult parts of setting boundaries isn’t deciding what to say.

It’s dealing with what you feel. Sometimes even before you say it. And definitely after you say it.

In my experience, the number one thing that stops people from setting boundaries isn’t a lack of skill. It’s guilt and shame. It’s that tight, nauseous feeling in your stomach that says, “You’re being selfish.”

Let’s start by normalizing something.

If you feel guilt and shame when you set boundaries, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re changing.

If you grew up in enmeshment, where everyone was in everyone else’s business, boundaries can feel like betrayal. If you grew up in emotional abandonment, boundaries can feel like you’re leaving someone alone the way you were left alone. If you grew up with both like I did, setting boundaries can feel even more overwhelming.

Healthy boundaries live in the middle. They’re not enmeshment. They’re not abandonment. They’re healthy separation with connection.

But if you’ve never experienced that middle, it doesn’t feel like healthy separation. It feels like abandonment.

So of course guilt shows up and shame flares.

The question isn’t how to eliminate those feelings overnight. The question is how to build the capacity to handle them. And eventually, how to reduce them at the root.

Here’s how.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

One of my clients recently asked me for concrete examples of emotional availability and vulnerability.

She said something like this: “I show empathy. I validate people. I listen. I’m curious. I really try to be there. So why do I keep ending up with emotionally unavailable people?”

It’s such an honest question. And it’s one I was perplexed by for years before recovery.

Back then, I believed emotionally unavailable men were attracted to me. That part was true. What I didn’t see at the time was the other half of the equation.

That I was not just attracting them, I was also attracted TO them.

What I eventually figured out was that the reason all that was happening was the *I* was emotionally unavailable. And that makes total sense, because what emotionally available person would be attracted to and stay in relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable?

This was completely subconscious, of course.

If this is stirring something, you can read the rest at your own pace here.

A quick note in case this connects for you — my live workshop Boundaries for Real Love is coming up later this month.

We’ll be looking at the quiet ways people override themselves in relationships and what supports staying present without force.

Details are here if you’d like to take a look.

When Other People’s Feelings Feel Like Yours

One of the most common themes I see with my clients and one I lived inside for decades is this experience of feeling other people’s feelings.

It’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

It’s like being permeable. Like there’s no membrane between you and the emotional world around you. Other people’s emotions don’t just register. They enter. They move through you. They take up residence.

And when that’s your experience, there’s an unspoken rule running the show.

If they’re not okay, I can’t be okay. And if they’re not okay with me, I really can’t be okay.

Even if you don’t literally feel other people’s emotions in your body, many of us still act as if we’re responsible for them.

Someone’s upset and we rush to fix it. Someone’s disappointed and we scramble to soothe. Someone’s uncomfortable and we contort ourselves to make it better.

That impulse can look kind. And sometimes it is.

But not when they haven’t asked for support. Not when someone needs space to grieve. Not when discomfort is actually part of their process.

If you recognize yourself here, one simple and powerful pause is this question:

“Do you want to be cheered up right now?”

And another, even more important one:

“Am I responding to their pain… or am I reacting to my own discomfort that stems from their discomfort?”

Read the rest at your own pace here.

One of the most painful patterns I see, both in my own life and in my work with clients, is this
we often end up sabotaging the very thing we want most.

Nowhere is this more true than in romantic relationships.

We long for connection, security, belonging, intimacy.
And yet, without realizing it, we behave in ways that quietly undermine those very desires.

Let me show you what I mean.

First example.

I once worked with a client who was reflecting on his friendships with other young men when he was younger. What he wanted from those relationships was completely understandable
security, belonging, identity, validation. He was looking for models of healthy masculinity and hoping to feel anchored in a group.

What actually happened was the opposite.

Those friendships didn’t just fade. They ended painfully. He was bullied. Pushed out. Shamed. Everything he had hoped to gain was taken from him.

As he looked more honestly at his part, something important became clear. He wasn’t truly present in those relationships. He had an unspoken end goal. He was there to get something rather than to be something.

That wasn’t a moral failing. It was all he knew how to do at the time.

This is one of my favorite phrases from recovery
info, not ammo.

This awareness wasn’t something to beat himself up with. It was information. And it changed everything.

Second example.

A friend of mine in recovery often explains this pattern through the lens of our instinctual drives. We’re wired for things like security, reputation, and belonging. Those drives are not the problem.

But when they get out of balance, or when we act from fear around them, we often sabotage ourselves.

Take reputation, for example. If we’re desperate to be seen a certain way, we might exaggerate, embellish, or outright lie. And eventually, when the truth comes out, the very reputation we were trying to protect is damaged.

The thing we wanted most becomes the thing we destroy.

Third example.

This one shows up constantly in romantic relationships.

Many of us carry a deep fear of abandonment. We don’t want to be left. We don’t want to be discarded. We want to matter.

And yet, without realizing it, we abandon ourselves.

We ignore our needs. We silence our truth. We shape shift to keep the connection. And when we do that, abandonment is baked right into the relationship.

Because we aren’t really there.

The real us never arrives. And so we often find ourselves drawn to people who abandon us in familiar ways.

The very thing we fear becomes the thing we recreate.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

Featuring work by Beatriz Olson, MD

In Unmuted — The Return of Color, Beatriz Olson presents a body of work that traces her journey back to voice, embodiment, and the full spectrum of color that once lay quiet beneath the demands of culture, profession, and expectation. As a Cuban immigrant, physician, and woman shaped by systems that reward discipline and invisibility, Olson learned early to mute aspects of herself in order to navigate the world. These paintings reveal the moment of reversal—when inner wisdom rises, when color becomes medicine, and when the feminine body and spirit reclaim their place as sources of knowing. The exhibit will be on view from February 6 - March 1, with Opening Reception and Artist Talk on Saturday, February 7, 2–5 p.m. A Closing Reception and Artist Talk will be held on Sunday, March 1, 2–5 p.m.

Across three interwoven series, Olson explores the architecture of womanhood, the atmospheric spaces of interiority, and the luminous power of abstraction. Anatomical echoes, meditative figures, and fluid portals of color invite viewers into a space where the body is sacred, intuition is intelligence, and spirituality emerges as a form of healing. Her palette—at times bold, at times tender—maps the emotional terrain of a life spent caring for thousands of women, listening to their stories, and witnessing the resilience held in their bodies. 

In these works, color becomes a conduit for transformation. Through abstraction and symbolic form, Olson creates pathways for reflection, stillness, and generative discomfort—the kind that expands rather than contracts, that illuminates rather than obscures. Unmuted is both personal and universal: a declaration that the feminine, in all its complexity, radiance, and depth, deserves to be seen, honored, and held in the light.

Beatriz Olson is Cuban immigrant who evolved to be an artist, physician and author. Her work involves holistic approaches to healing the body mind and soul distress by using color, form and lack thereof to process emotions. Art has a way of soothing us and giving language to that which we cannot name consciously or unconsciously but affects us deeply. She has been a performance artist at Pechkucha Events in New Haven, and been part of CWOS for more than a decade.

The Unmuted exhibit is free and open to the public. City Gallery is located at 994 State Street, New Haven, CT 06511. Gallery hours are Friday - Sunday, 12 p.m. - 4 p.m., or by appointment. For further information please contact City Gallery, info@city-gallery.org, www.city-gallery.org.

I once had a conversation with a sponsee who was sitting with a knot in her stomach. That conversation has stuck with me for years, and I’ve used it in coaching sessions with my clients.

She’d gifted a significant amount of money to one of her adult children. Her older child had always been financially independent. Paid their own way through college. Came up with their own down payment. Never needed rescuing.

Her younger child had a very different history, including mental health issues. Over the years, my sponsee spent a lot of money getting the younger child out of trouble. Bailing them out. Saving them. Trying to help.

What she was worried about wasn’t the money itself.

It was this question: What happens if my younger child finds out I gifted the money to their sibling?

That question opened the door to a conversation that feels especially important when we’re talking about romantic relationships too. The difference between privacy and secrecy.

At first glance, they can look the same. Both involve not telling someone everything. But emotionally, they come from very different places.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

Book Launch & Reception for Linda Cummings: Slippages
Sponsored by Yale University’s Center for Collaborative Arts and Media (CCAM)

A Book Launch and Reception celebrating the release of Linda Cummings: Slippages will be held on Thursday, January 29, 6:30 pm – 8 pm. at Yale University’s Center for Collaborative Arts and Media (CCAM, 149 York Street, New Haven). The wine and cheese reception will include an Artist Conversation with Linda Cummings facilitated by Elise R. Morrison, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies at Yale, who authored an essay in the book. A limited number of advance copies of Slippages are available for the event, but must be preordered by January 27, see details below.

“Slippages is spot-on. The photographs are magnificent – suggestive, humorous, heart-breaking, beautiful,” says Ellen Schwartz Harris, former Executive Director, Aperture. “They sing, shout, whisper and everything in between while suggesting the entire spectrum of female experience.”

Slippages is a landmark publication of photographs by Connecticut Shoreline artist Linda Cummings, published by Skira. The book showcases 70 high-quality duotone images spanning the decade between the millennium (1992 to 2002) and the waning of analog photography. Cummings’ compositions toss expectations to the wind, transposing gender dynamics with a slight of hand. The images convey Cummings’ innovative approach to photographic narrative through actions performed and photographed by the artist on site, in locations is varied as steel mills, coal mines, churches, hospitals and stadiums, many long since disappeared. The photographs express the artist defiance, exuberance and anxiety amidst the upheavals of a declining industrial age and dawning of the digital era. Cummings’ thought-provoking photographs are complemented with an introduction and four essays that extrapolate ideas from Cummings’ work and consider how social controversies then resurface today as the rights of bodily autonomy and gender identity continue to be challenged. All photographs were taken on site with an analog 35-mm manual film camera and printed by hand in a dark room with no manipulation post capture. Slippages was recently featured in events at Rome University of Fine Arts and the Tokyo Art Book Fair.

ABOUT THE ARTIST

Linda Cummings is an artist / photographer with a studio along the Farm River in East Haven, CT. In addition to her gallery representation in New York City, Cummings has collaborated with the Fred Giampietro Gallery in New Haven, CT, and has created audio–visual photographic exhibitions and installations at the Smilow Cancer Hospital of Yale New Haven. Recent commissioned projects, inspired by Cummings’ interest in perception and natural phenomenon, incorporate trans-illuminated light through large scale installations of photographic glass. Examples of these commissioned projects include the Ark Doors at Temple Beth Tikvah in Madison, CT, a skylit glass photographic artwork installed in the Hope Chapel at Gaylord Hospital in Wallingford, CT and an interior corridor and ceiling artwork of illuminated glass in the newly renovated residential Towers in downtown New Haven, CT.

Linda Cummings has held artist talks and presentations of her artwork and philosophy on the intersection of art, creativity and healing at national and international venues including the Whitney Humanities Center of Yale University and the Yale Medical College. She co-authored, with artist Katy Martin, "Beauty, Longing, and Fear” a chapter in the publication Making Sense. Beauty, Creativity, and Healing by Bandy Lee, MD., Nancy Olson, MD. and Thomas P. Duffy, MD. (eds) of Yale University. (Frankfurt: Peter Lang, 2015)

In addition to her creative art practice, Linda is active on the board of the Friends of the Farm River and Estuary, a local environmental group acting as catalyst for projects engineered to restore ecological health and abundance to the Farm River, which flows from North Branford through East Haven and Branford to the mouth of New Haven harbor.

Preordered copies of Linda Cummings: Slippages cost $45.00 and must be purchased by January 27 to pick up at the event. Order books online under Book: Slippages at lindacummings.com (tinyurl.com/slippagesbook), or from Grey Matter Books by phone at 203-553-3180 or in person at 264 York St, New Haven.

The event, sponsored by Center for Collaborative Arts and Media (CCAM), is free and open to the public. There is meter parking on the street or you can park across the street at the Chapel-York Garage (150 York St) or Crown Street Garage (213 Crown St).

For more information, please visit lindacummings.com or contact the artist at cummingsphoto@gmail.com.

I Thought I Was a Great Communicator. I Was Wrong.

For a long time, I believed I was excellent at communicating.

Before recovery, I was a program coordinator at Yale University, managing complex initiatives across as many as 25 schools at a time. I kept information flowing between administrators, educators, partners, and stakeholders. Things ran smoothly. People knew what they needed to know. Deadlines were met.

So I assumed that meant I was a great communicator.

What I didn’t realize was that I was only good at communicating about work.

Interpersonally, especially in close relationships, I was a mess.

I communicated indirectly. I talked to people who weren’t actually involved in the situation. I hinted. I circled. I beat around the bush. I expected people to know things simply because I had decided they should know them.

And when I didn’t understand what someone meant, instead of asking a clarifying question, I filled in the gaps myself. Usually with a story where they had bad intentions and I was about to be hurt, dismissed, or taken advantage of.

That way of communicating quietly wrecked my relationships. Romantic ones especially.

Recovery changed that. Not because I suddenly became “better” at communication, but because I was forced to practice it differently.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

True Haven is a housing stability and reentry support program serving individuals returning home from incarceration, as well as family members of individuals who are currently incarcerated.  This program addresses a reality we see far too often: people coming home or supporting loved ones without stable housing, financial stability, or adequate support, putting both individuals and families at risk.

True Haven focuses on three core areas.

First, housing stability. We help clients obtain and maintain safe, stable housing during critical transition periods. This can include eviction prevention, and, where applicable, financial assistance. We view housing as the foundation; without it, everything else becomes more difficult.

Financial empowerment.
We provide financial education and individualized support to help clients build budgets, understand credit, and make informed financial decisions. Many participants are rebuilding after long periods of instability, and we focus on practical, realistic tools that support long-term success.

Third, trauma-informed support.
Reentry and family separation are traumatic experiences. True Haven integrates trauma-informed principles across all services and includes Trauma-Informed Trainings for community members and partners. We prioritize dignity, trust, and empowerment in every interaction.

What truly sets True Haven apart is our individualized approach. We meet clients where they are and tailor services to their specific needs, goals, and barriers. There’s no one-size-fits-all path to stability. Our housing counselors walk alongside each participant as they navigate difficult systems.

We also believe strongly in collaboration. True Haven works best when agencies collaborate, and we value partnerships that enable coordinated referrals and shared support.

True Haven is currently accepting new applications and welcomes referrals and partnerships with agencies serving individuals affected by incarceration, housing instability, or financial hardship.

True Haven helps individuals and families move from crisis to stability—and toward opportunity. We’d love to explore how we can work together to better support the communities we all serve. 

I had a conversation with a newcomer in recovery recently that landed like a perfect case study for romantic relationships. It was one of those moments where two lessons I teach all the time showed up in real life, fully formed.

Those lessons are:

1. Let go of your expectations of others and meet your own needs.
2. Stop making things mean things that they don’t.

Here’s the situation.

She and her boyfriend recently broke up and decided to try again. As part of that, she’s sometimes staying over on weekends in the home they used to share.

One of the problems they’ve always had is that even when they lived together, they didn’t actually spend much quality time together. Life got filled with logistics. Chores. Managing the household. There wasn’t much romance, and there wasn’t much attention paid to the relationship itself.

And no relationship survives long term without attention, affection, and care.

But there’s one issue that keeps coming up over and over:
The bathroom.

She wants him to clean it. Not just clean it, but clean it to her standards. And not just clean it, but want to clean it.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

As popular mistrust of expert opinion grows, we increasingly encounter the following skeptical argument about science: Historically, even well-established theories and findings have been overturned; therefore, science can’t be trusted because it will eventually change again...

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/05/opinion/science-trust.html