Blogs

I had a conversation with a newcomer in recovery recently that landed like a perfect case study for romantic relationships. It was one of those moments where two lessons I teach all the time showed up in real life, fully formed.

Those lessons are:

1. Let go of your expectations of others and meet your own needs.
2. Stop making things mean things that they don’t.

Here’s the situation.

She and her boyfriend recently broke up and decided to try again. As part of that, she’s sometimes staying over on weekends in the home they used to share.

One of the problems they’ve always had is that even when they lived together, they didn’t actually spend much quality time together. Life got filled with logistics. Chores. Managing the household. There wasn’t much romance, and there wasn’t much attention paid to the relationship itself.

And no relationship survives long term without attention, affection, and care.

But there’s one issue that keeps coming up over and over:
The bathroom.

She wants him to clean it. Not just clean it, but clean it to her standards. And not just clean it, but want to clean it.

Read the rest at your own pace here.

As popular mistrust of expert opinion grows, we increasingly encounter the following skeptical argument about science: Historically, even well-established theories and findings have been overturned; therefore, science can’t be trusted because it will eventually change again...

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/05/opinion/science-trust.html

In January, City Gallery present FRAGMENTS, a group show featuring Meg Bloom, Joy Bush, and Phyllis Crowley. The fragments — echoed in the constructed poem above — include the visual perspectives seen in each of the artist’s individual works but also as they relate to each other and to the visual experience of the whole, of being and creating in this world. FRAGMENTS will be on view from January 9 - February 1, with an Opening Reception on Saturday, January 17 from 2-4 p.m. (Snow date: January 18, 2-4 p.m.)

Meg Bloom, Joy Bush, Phyllis Crowley are long-time members of City Gallery. Meg Bloom’s artwork, past and present, consists of handmade paper sculptures from kozo and abaca fibers. Some have added pigment, many have embedded plant matter, or anything else she can get her hands on. Additionally, she also creates mixed media collages and installations. Finding beauty in the imperfect, acknowledging moments of change, and engaging with the process of transformation form the basis of her work. Her art references nature, whether human or otherwise, and attempts, metaphorically through layering process and form, to address the broader social and environmental issues.

Joy Bush is a photographer based in Connecticut. She grew up near New York City and as a child she loved family excursions to NYC museums and theater productions. After graduating from college she discovered the magic of photography, and bought herself a Pentax Spotmatic camera. Eventually employed as a university photographer, she documented life on college campuses while developing personal bodies of work. Her photography practice involves gathering evidence: weaving autobiography with fiction. Through her personal wandering, many series have emerged, yet the one overall thread of her trajectory is paying attention to easily overlooked, obscure circumstances that have occurred prior to her arrival. In her exploration throughout the day, she captures circumstances that curiously suggest something happened or is going to happen and while humans are not physically present, traces of their actions are intriguingly omnipresent. For decades she has witnessed, embraced, and communicated joy, solitude, peace, disruption, abstraction, and irony through the photographic image.

Phyllis Crowley grew up in New York City and started photographing when she was eleven years old. She learned by taking pictures, looking at pictures, experimenting, attending workshops and reading everything she could get her hands on. She began her career working with film in a traditional black and white darkroom. The new digital technology made it much faster and easier to work with multiple images, a major interest, and move between color and black and white. She has taught at Norwalk Community College, the University of Bridgeport, and now at Creative Arts workshop. She is a member of City Gallery in New Haven and Silvermine Guild in New Canaan. She exhibits nationally and has twice received an Artist Fellowship from the Connecticut Commission on the Arts. Her work is in public, corporate, and private collections.

The FRAGMENTS exhibit is free and open to the public. City Gallery is located at 994 State Street, New Haven, CT 06511. Gallery hours are Friday - Sunday, 12 p.m. - 4 p.m., or by appointment. For further information please contact City Gallery, info@city-gallery.org, www.city-gallery.org.

January is a time when many people quietly take stock of their romantic relationships.

Not just whether they’re partnered or single, but how they show up inside connection. How much they give. How much they tolerate. How safe they feel being fully themselves.

One pattern I see again and again, especially among thoughtful, capable, caring women, is this:

We carry invisible contracts into love.

These contracts aren’t conscious, and they’re rarely questioned. They sound like:

• If I love enough, this will work out.
• If I choose the right person, I’ll finally feel safe.
• If the relationship fails, it must mean I missed something.
• If I’m truly devoted, I should be willing to sacrifice.

Most of the time, we don’t realize we’re operating under these rules. They live under the surface, shaping what we give, what we excuse, and how much of ourselves we’re willing to put at risk.

Here’s the truth I want to offer at the start of this month. Read the rest at your own pace here.