A few years ago, renewing my license was chaotic and stressful—a reflection of my old, reactive way of living. But recovery has radically transformed my life. Now, I’m proactive, intentional, and planful, turning what used to be a source of drama into a routine, stress-free task.
Before Recovery: Chaos and Drama
I used to create chaos and drama in my own life without realizing I was the source. I sometimes think of this is having lobbed bombs into my own life, not knowing I was the one doing it.
Here are some examples:
- “unexpected” expenses would come along and I wouldn’t have the money on hand for things like driver’s license renewal, haircuts, car taxes
- I’d set aside envelopes for things I thought were bills and tell myself, “I’ll look at it later.” That could mean days, or weeks or months later. Many years ago it meant never.
- I’d put off setting up appointments for things like renewing my license until the last moment, sometimes resulting in no appointments being available until after my license expired
- I’d wait to get gas until the last possible second, knowing I had a long drive ahead then stressing the whole way about whether I’d find a gas station along the way.
- I’d leave at the last minute, not allowing myself ample time to get to my destination
Small Changes: Big Results
When it comes time to renew my license now, I have money set aside for things like that. This is what the folks at YNAB (You Need a Budget) call “embracing your true expenses.” In the past, this is the type of expense that would throw me for a loop.
This time, when the license renewal came in the mail, I opened the envelope as soon as I grabbed it out of the mailbox. Then, I immediately went online to set up an appointment. For me, this was huge because at least twice In the last 20 years or so, I renewed my license late. That was either because I didn’t have the money or was just procrastinating.
Then the day of the license renewal, I got into my car and saw that I had a little bit less than a quarter of a tank of gas. I was going to be driving 35 minutes away, so I stopped at the gas station to fill up before getting on the highway.
I think that mentality was partially fueled by the sense of urgency I used to have all the time. The result was that I’d have underlying stress because I'd be wondering if I was going to make it or if there was a gas station on the way. Instead of creating that stress, I just got gas.
Oh – and I had plenty of time to do that because I gave myself more than a 15-minute buffer when I left. In the past when I left at the last minute, I’d get pissed at everyone who was “in my way” because I was trying to travel through time to get there! Now, because I give myself plenty of time to get places, I drive the speed limit. When I'm on the highway, I use cruise control so that I don't have to worry about changing my speed all the time.
Then there's the fact that I was getting my picture taken for my license renewal. That was the first time to get my license picture since I’d lost over 100 pounds. That was a HUGE accomplishment! I struggled with my weight my entire adult life.
I’ve heard it said repeatedly by entrepreneurs who make over $100k in a year that the way you stay at $100k is the way that you got to $100k. I think that’s true of any change process, not just building a business: do things one day at a time, and live now the way you want to live then. If you want to avoid rushing in the future, avoid rushing now. If you want to have weekends off in the future, take weekends off now. These are lessons I’m just now internalizing after 300 podcast episodes and almost seven years into starting my business!
Living Intentionally Requires Planning
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of planning if you want o live intentially. As vince Lombardi said, “The person on top of the mountain didn't fall there.” And as Dwight Eisenhower said, “Plans are useful, but planning is essential.” People don’t just “happen” to have a life that’s happy, joyous and free. They plan.
The way I think about it is this: if you want to have a well-lived life, you need to act like it. You need to plan your life. As someone who’s lost so much weight and maintained that weight loss for years, food is a good example of something I plan. My finances are another. It was only $72 to renew my license, but costs like that used to take me down because I didn’t plan for them.
Even though I've always been an organized person and a responsible in many areas of my life, when it came to my own stuff I was in denial. If something was more expensive than $30 or so,
I’d often not have the money because I just spent money like it was burning a hole in my pocket!!
Opening envelopes immediately and scheduling appointments weeks in advance might seem small, but these habits eliminate last-minute stress. Living intentionally starts with small, consistent actions. Think about one area of your life where you’re reactive instead of proactive. What’s one small change you can make this week to live more intentionally?
By living with intention, I’ve transformed stress and chaos into peace and control. Life doesn’t just happen to us—we can choose how we live it, one thoughtful decision at a time.
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